the truth.

we are all capable of despicable self-absorption, and that is the truth.
i, more often than not (and much to my great despair), love only the ones who love me, and that is the truth.

i plan even when not consciously planning. and it almost always breaks my heart. and that is the truth.

i can't keep fingernail polish on my fingernails looking decent for a solid week. and that is SO the truth.

i expect cruelty from almost everyone, and that is the truth.
i am learning that maybe people aren't so bad, and that is the truth.
i understand what it means to loathe the hope that won't seem to falter underneath all of the darkness. it is painful. hope is so painful. and that is the truth.

where i may mourn and fall under the pressure of great sadness, i do ultimately have the goal of a lion heart and will not be shaken. and that is the truth.

when i love, it is deeply and without restraint. and that is the truth.
i have long been aware that if i do not love, i am nothing. and that is the truth.
i was not made for ordinary use, and that is the truth.
this world is not my home, and that has never felt more like the truth.
Jesus is the most precious thing i will ever know. and that is the truth.

i suffer from serious unbelief and fear and frustration... and from accusations that all that has ever happened to me in my life was deserved and has ruined me. and no matter how hard i try--no matter the effort i put into belief, i find that it must be a supernatural occurrence. i must be given the belief by One who is Truth. and i am growing to be okay with that. and that is the truth.

Jesus weaves and spins the fibers of what makes me a person... of what makes me love Him in a way that only He could have orchestrated and I get the pleasure and agony of experiencing it. He hand tailors that for me. As He does for every human being who ever existed and ever will exist... And He gives us opportunities to experience these things together... He makes us matter to each other... because He is a creative God. *laugh* Oh, so creative. And even out of blood, of charred skin and ashes... He brings such beauty. I believe that. and it is the truth.

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.*
and that is the truth.

*Job 13:15