day 3. i call it, 'say.'

**
even if your hands are shaking.
**

The words are getting farther and farther away from my ears. They've taken their time, beating the walls in my head, slashing my esophagus and piercing through my lungs and stomach. They sit, nay, they convulse in my heart on day 3 since I first heard them. And in their convulsions, the ideas, the visions, the still images... they are infuriating, heartbreaking, tragic, and indescribably beautiful.

**
and your faith is broken
**

Because all that is dead, does not have to stay that way.
And all that appears dark cannot not be conquered by the presence of light however small.

And that is the truth.

**
even as the eyes are closing
**

Healing
may very well be the most painful thing I have ever gone through.

And it has taken my breath away.

He
has taken my breath away.

With the weight and texture of His mercy. Of His love. Of the grace that is, indeed, so hard to swallow.

**
do it with a heart wide open
**

I often wonder, since I was once told, if I reveal too much-- if I say too many things or give the appearance of opening up so much that nothing is left to the imagination. But I'm starting to believe that maybe whoever gets this peak into my existence on this planet... for however long... this is for you to see as much as it is for me to have shown it.

And I am a firm believer that if there is anything God Almighty will say to me when I can hear His voice in my ears and I'm... finished... I just can't picture Him saying, "Now, Megan, you just took that all a bit far... you tried a bit too hard..."

**
have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
you better know that in the end
it's better to say too much
than never to say what you need to say again
**

And you know what...

maybe He won't say anything to me at all.
Maybe He will just see me.
And I will have been seen.



And it will be good.