a spade.

I say I'm willing to learn.
I even go so far as to say I love to learn.

And when the actual learning comes, I fold and cry like a kindergartner.

I don't understand. I can't do this right...

I suppose I could spend a lot of time in this blog making it sound like poetry when really it's just self-pity.

I know it. You know it. We all know it.

Call a spade, yes?

Yes.

Truth is, I had a miserable week. I tried not to say I'd had a miserable week because the reasons for said misery were so deeply rooted that to even begin to unpack them would make them all the miserable...er...

*scratches head*

Anyway, despite the fact that my head, chest and ears are full of pollen-induced infection, I'm hopeful about the coming week. The coming weeks...

I'm hopeful about my life.

I don't think belief is always a decision I can make for myself. I think belief is learned, especially as grownups. But hope...

Hope is a decision.


*****
Are You caught up in me like I heard You say?
Or just some big cashier that I'll have to pay?
I just wanna be not what I am today
I just wanna be better than my friends might say
I just want a small part in Your passion play...
****