"God tamed and made teachable a mind too stubborn for its years" - John Calvin

Is it strange that I find it somewhat comforting to fall asleep listening to podcasts from Reformed Theological Seminary on the History of Christianity. They have whole courses online you know... hours and hours of lectures on everything I do during the day anyway. Somehow, it makes me feel like I'm subconsciously learning things if I just have these lectures on over and over in the background of my every day work *lol*. I realize that's insane...

Is that insane?

Whatever. I guess we'll find out.

I get it. I'm not going to feel prepared. No matter how much information I stuff into my head, how many books I read and write notes on, no matter how long I spend reading and memorizing these charts and notes from classes---I'm never going to feel like I know everything I need to know. All I really want is to do well. And here's hoping they ask questions that will allow me to reflect everything I really do know well... because I do know some things.

Pardon me if 2000 years worth of "church history" is a difficult thing to swallow...especially during a time where you're deciding if you think the "church" thing is a good thing at all.

Today is all about the Reformation--as was most of yesterday. My friend Amber has graciously agreed to help me with a review session today, as the Reformation period is the only period I have not specifically had a class on. And she's had at least two... not to mention she's a human history machine. I believe they say things like "she has the gift" here.

I don't have the gift, apparently.

Then again, it's not like I would expect anyone at Wheaton to recognize any of the gifts I do have. Sadly, I'll leave here and they won't ever really know, will they... Not a lot I can do about that.

**Random Note** I put my GAP jeans in the dryer on accident, and they still fit. I love it when that happens. **End Random Note**

Pray I can keep my time managed in a way this week that allows me to get everything done for classes, for comps studying, and still relax. I give myself breaks. I'm usually up pretty late. And I do want to feel rested Friday morning. My God, Friday morning. *shudder*

It's not comforting really to think that this time next week it will be a thing of the past. I just don't feel ready. But I can't afford to spend another 6 months preparing. Clearly, this is when God means for me to take this test.

THIS...is when He MEANS for me to do this. And He wouldn't will me to do this if He were just going to leave me hanging out in the cold, right? Would He let me fail this?

I don't know if I can answer that.

*shakes head* I don't have to answer that. My job is to do this work to the aboslute best of my ability. And I think that it is what I'm doing. Maybe that's another issue I need to add to my pile. I don't really know when I'm doing my best.

I did my best, I did my best, I did my best. --Shout out to Dane Cook.

Hey, remember that time America elected a shady socialist for President? Just sayin'...

Better get my stuff together. Amber will be here in a few.